At bizchickblogs.com, we’ve had a lot of great guest bloggers, so I’m definitely not complaining. But as I got to thinking about guest blogging gone bad, I found some interesting similarities between bad dates and bad guest bloggers.
1. Guest bloggers are like bad dates… when all the attention is in the wrong places.
Bill: Hey…:) Wow, you look fantastic. You never know how these blind dates will work out.
Sharon: Uh, what’s that you said? You’re gonna have to speak up; my ears are actually up here.
It’s the classic, age old joke – the bad date that can’t take his (or her) eyes off the you know what. Sometimes it works out, but most of the time, it doesn’t. It’s the same with the guest blogger who is obsessed with the placement or number of their links, or the dofollow status, or the PR, or the Alexa, or the whatever. To them, blogs are just pieces of meat. 
2. Guest bloggers are like bad dates… when there’s no chemistry.
No glass houses here. I’ve definitely had my fair share of blog hit and runs. Sometimes, there’s just no chemistry, you know? You write a post, get it published, and for some reason, your post and that blog just don’t make a good match. It happens. It gets put into the bad date category when, afterward, you say to yourself, “Man! I should have submitted that post somewhere else!”
3. Guest bloggers are like bad dates… when they’re all business.
Date: Some month, some day, some year
Subject: Guest blogging on bizchickblogs.comHi Tia,
I would like to submit some original content to your blog in exchange for two dofollow links in the body of the text that go back to my websites. Please let me know if you are interested.
Delete.
Sorry, but there needs to be a little more wooing than that, at least! It reminds of the recent proposals I received, from someone who wanted to place 5 (count it, 5) LIFETIME links on the blog sitewide for a very small sum of money. No wooing; no selling at all. Just, here’s the deal – you in or out?
Whenever someone gives me that kind of option right up front, it’s a pretty easy answer: OUT. Byeeee.
4. Guest bloggers are like bad dates… when they’re rude to your friends.
Again, I’ve been really pleased with the guest bloggers we’ve had so far on bizchickblogs.com. There have only been two or three that in hindsight I would have turned down. The reason is largely the follow up – the date where they meet your friends, if you will. When guest bloggers don’t respond to my readers’ comments, it really gets on my nerves. I’m not unreasonable; I don’t expect guests to respond to every single comment, or comments that aren’t in need of a response, or comments that come a week or later after the post is published.
I believe that the thing that makes blogging different from a regular article or a speech is the expected interaction between blogger and reader. When a guest blogger doesn’t take the time to respond to comments, especially the questions, that is equivalent to brushing off my friends. And no one gets away with that!
What say you?
Am I completely off my rocker here?
Image credit: Shutterstock
You’ve made valid points, IMO. My only really bad date was one on which my date got really drunk. In terms of blogging, that might be funny. In a real-life date, not so much!haha
Really like this post – good to read about guest blogging etiquette! At first I was too embarrassed to publish nice comments people made on my blog completely unaware that this was actually helping them and probably why they did it – oops. Will keep reading
What Do Guest Bloggers and Bad Dates Have In Common?
Guest bloggers are like bad dates… when they’re rude to your friends, they’re all business, there’s no chemistry so and so…
Excellent points.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us..
Fun and informative! You hit the nail on the head.
Tia,
FANTASTIC article. Seriously great analogy. I especially like what you said about chemistry. If there’s no chemistry going on for the writer, the excitement and passion isn’t going to be in the article. Bottom line: you don’t get passion without chemistry.
You said it! I have been on both sides of this and ouch! When it is a no go it is totally awkward. I especially agree with not being cool to my friends. If you want to guest post you better give my followers some love in return.
I just got one of those link exchange emails the other day Tia, can you say, DELETE FOREVER?! Great post!
lol Thanks, Christina! I think so many people can relate to this.
Thats quite funny comparing guest bloggers to dates and reasons why they are turning bad.
On the other side, a good guest blogger is when he or she fulfills all your needs and desires such as with a quality post.
Ha, Andreas! I don’t know that I would place guest bloggers and desires in the same sentence.
Just kidding. You’re right!
Tia!
This post is awesome, and it made me laugh.
More than that, it’s true. I think you nailed it when
said “it’s all about relationships” in an earlier comment.
I believe that because people find it so each to get
their content in front of other people via e-mail, social
networks, etc., they forget about the human element.
I would be like going on a first date with someone and
before you’ve even made a little small talk, you date
is trying to grope you — that’s grounds for date OVER!
Great analogy!
hahahah I’m so happy you liked this one, Marlee. I was cracking up at your post yesterday. Do you know all those guys from The Third Tribe?
People do forget the human element, especially in Internet Marketing. Maintaining relationships becomes a chore, when it shouldn’t be.
Think about it – think about how many bloggers update their blogs everyday just because they feel like they have to? It’s like the obligatory call from the BF – just to keep himself from getting in trouble!
Tia
Tia – I don’t know how you came up with this but you’re right on target with the similarities. I especially agree with your comparisons in number 1 and number 3.
Although I have never had the privelege of accepting or declining guest bloggers, I can see how some guest bloggers could have their attention in all the wrong places and see your blog as a piece of meat.
However, it should be pretty easy for you to tell the difference between a person that submits an article to genuinely help your readers, and a person who submits an article to you and is only worried about the placement of their links. After reading this, I definitely see the similarities between a bad guest blogger and a bad date. Great post Tia.
Hey John,
I don’t know either; I was just thinking about blog topics and it came to me!
I think I was trying to think of something to write for the relationships column, lol.
Thanks for your comment!
Tia
Hi Tia
What a brilliant analogy! I have guest posted over on Rick’s site and was initially surprised that he even ask me as I had not really interacted with him except to comment on a guest post he had done.
Unbeknown to me he had been checking out my site and seeing me commenting on lots of blogs. Must say I tried to give of my best to the guest post I submitted. As I do on my own blog. Lots of my loyal readers visited Rick’s site to comment on my GP so he met heaps more people. I also met his readers so yes it is win-win.
Didn’t look at his PR or Alexa. Just liked the content on his site and I did reply to every comment. Same as I do on my own blog. With the time zone differences it meant staying up till very late. I like to answer comments as soon as possible and as it was on someone elses’ site, didn’t want the commenters waiting around for replies.
On my own site my regular readers know me and appreciate that occasionally I need to sleep lol They also remember I am in Oz and they often are somewhere else. Answer their comments soon as I can too, so I don’t see why GP standards should be any different to the standards we employ on our own blog.
When I decide to have guest posters it will be by invitation only. My readers have expectations when they come to my blog. Don’t want GP spoiling the great interaction and community we have built up. The motive should be what can I bring to this blog owner’s site? The rest that we receive is an added blessing. My 2 cents anyway
Patricia Perth Australia
Hey Patricia,
I think there’s a big difference between “bloggers” like you who guest post, and “SEOers” who guest post for links. It makes all the difference in the world, actually.
That’s why none of those things really mattered to you. To an SEOer, those things are hugely important!
Tia couldn’t agree more with the title and content – even I’m planning to make a post in future about this type of guest bloggers.
Having had tens of guest writers on mine, I’ve found good but bad examples too.
A guest blogger that just approached me, not too long, after posting it – not only didn’t comment/reply to comments, the email telling her that was published also was zero-response, with follow-ups included…
SEOs searching to put links all the time; recently I noticed that when the message is “semi” automatic after googleing you can discover who is behind and the result will be a disaster with poor articles full of links not to blogs.
Excellent points and the same with the new design
Cheers,
Gera
Thanks, Gera!
Placing guest posts is big business. It’s not a bad business to be in, provided it’s done with respect and class!
I can’t wait to read your post on this, Gera. You have a way with words.
Cheers,
Tia
As a writer whose job it is to place guest posts on blogs, #3 was immediately relevant. Too often, I get into my tasks or the zone and forget to add some finesse. Thinking about it in terms of a first date is very helpful!
And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of a eHarmony for blogging – that is priceless!
lol Hey Kelly – You were actually one of the excellent, excellent freelance writers we’ve had as guest bloggers on bizchickblogs.com. A rarity! Great job.
Loved it. You are so right. I never wrote a guest post (still new and still scared) but I would definitely not send you an e-mail like that.
I noticed that some bloggers, as soon as their blog is Alexa<100.000, become "the all important Mr. Blogger" and they think the whole world is out there to serve them.
Think twice.
With your writing the way it is, you are doing a favor to bloggers, I would read your blog anyway. Not saying that is the reason you are accepting guest posts, but I kinda see g. posts as a way to break the routine. And some blogs really need it.
P.S. Hope not to sound completely stupid, but is this the whole new looks of your blog
cause I am sure I am not mistaking you for someone else.
hahahaa yes, Brankica. This is a whole new look! I love the title of the post you put in the CommentLuv. I have to read that now!
You are right, Tia.
Sometimes people go on blind dates just to have a one night stand and so do some guest posters, they just write a post to get their links in (and usually write that post around those links).
So when someone goes to a blind date and makes indecent proposals you know that all they want is to place their link on you.
But when you get to met someone great you can tell from the first sentence they say and the same is with a guest blogger, you will notice what they really want from the moment they send you that email!
Hey Alex,
Thanks for your comments! Again, I’ve been really blessed to have great guest bloggers but it took a lot of time. December I saw something like 15 different guest bloggers, and all were fantastic. I don’t know what it was about December that was different from the rest of the year!
I thoroughly enjoyed this post, Tia!! I’ve had some terrible dates of my own, and I can definitely relate!
I second what Hesham said about guest blogging (and I think he’s pretty much the expert on allowing guest bloggers!). A lot of bloggers think they’re doing you a favor by writing for your blog… But honestly, most of the requests I’ve gotten (I’ve never accepted one and don’t really plan to anytime soon) are for really lame articles! Everyone wants their best content for their own blogs, and I can understand that, but come on… At least make an effort!
Post thoroughly enjoyed and retweeted
lol I know! I mean, I work really, really hard on my guest posts for other people. In fact, it takes me double the time to write them because I’m so picky. I don’t want people to think I write crap.
However, I realize that some people are hired to do them or really don’t care what anyone thinks about it. The only interaction they want is the kind between them and Adsense or Clickbank. lol So, for them, a successful guest experience is one where the back links count (sad, but so true).
So many people think they are doing a big favor for the host blog when they submit a guest post on it, but in my personal opinion, they are doing a favor to themselves before anyone else!
Usually there is a page on every blog that accepts guest posts, so.. I think the example of email you provided here is a copy & paste thing, people who send this kind of email don’t read any blogs! I hate it when someone send me an email like that and I usually reject their them because they didn’t read anything before sending their email!
Those are the most people who will not respond to comments and probably they you will never hear from them again!
In addition most of them are paid bloggers and link builders, I highly recommend a void those people, they actually should pay you to guest post for your blog!
It’s YOUR blog and you are the one who make decisions, no body should offer you or ask for exchange or a trade!!
P.S. it’s not bad thing to complain from guest bloggers, especially those who write about what they don’t know! I’ve done one complaint recently
Nice and full of joy post!
LOL Hesham – You are very right about the fact that link builders should be paying to guest blog. It’s only fair, right! Especially since the content they submit is usually a recycled list post.
It’s really an interesting thing that is happening with guest posting. What started out as a beautiful exchange has been muddied by some people. Just like commenting! It’s a shame that it always has to turn into the question, “What do I get out of it?” Everyone always wants something for themselves.
I don’t mind it. But I also don’t mind writing for my own blog.
I would rather write for my own blog than accepted bad guests/dates.
Haha! That picture is killing me, Tia!
I’ve never been on the receiving end of these overtures (yet), so I guess I’m lucky.
Sometimes it’s funny to see the people who are so single-minded and ruthless out there doing their thing. The ones who every tweet is a link back to them or pushing some service or affiliate link.
You’d think they would notice that all the people who have “made it” in the blogoshpere are surrounded by hordes of friends and fans who actually LIKE them, as well as learn from them, because they engage and interact with people.
Like Rick said, I have no problem with someone wanting to benefit from guest posting, but you’re right that it does have to be done with a degree of class. sheesh.
10 degrees of class!
That picture IS hilarious. lol You have no idea how many images I went through to finally find that one.
My best guest blogging experiences have come out of great relationships. There is a time to build links, and a time to develop friends. I would never want to use someone’s blog just to get a link; that’s totally unfair. That said, there are blog owners who don’t have any interest in actually writing for their own blog. I’ve seen bloggers who have only been at it for a month already asking for guest posts. Huh!? Crazy.
Oooh, number 3 is two timing us
Glad to see I am not the only one who gets them.
Ha! Figures! It’s probably a program that finds our blogs; not even a real person. It’s awful and genius at the same time.
Hi Tia,
I came here to give you one of my best pick-up lines, but you shamed me out of it
It’s frustrating to spend days working a super article, only to see no traffic and no comments.
I have no problems at all with a guest poster wanting something out of equation. It should definitely be win-win-win for everyone–blog, guest, and readers.
I always have a specific goal in mind before doing a guest post. Sometimes all I care about is the high PR backlink, so the traffic or comments aren’t an issue.
Regardless of my motives, I always try my best to ensure high value for the blog that is hosting me.
I carefully analyse the blog before approaching or writing, because I want to be sure it’s a good fit. I want to know what I’m getting into beforehand.
Maybe a good Niche site would be a sort of eHarmony for bloggers
. Just fill out the form and then get to see all the cute matches.
Nice post!
Rick
Oh my gosh, that idea is fantastic.
lol There’s a great service I use called BloggerLinkUp. So far, it’s been the best for me in terms of both giving and receiving guest posts. And then there’s MyBlogGuest, but I’ve found that one to be a little more difficult.
I LOVE the idea of a guest blog matching system. It’s perfect!!!
Hey Rick, how you doing buddy?
I just want to add something here if you allow me
First of all, I think guest blogging has nothing to do with traffic on the first place! It could drive traffic to the author’s blog, but authors shouldn’t focus on that and make it their first goal! Focus more on responding to comments and have conversation with other blogger to drive real loyal readers to your blog instead of counting number of visits would be much better thing!
A super guest post will not drive traffic to the author’s blog if it has no links in the body of content, most of hosts will allow you add a dew links to relevant articles to your own blog and also to other blogs if you there is something good to link to!
I notice that a lot of bloggers write about things that has no relevant topics on their own blogs which makes it hard to linkback to their own blogs, here is the smart thing.. guest poster should write about something relevant to what they do blog about! it’s that simple!
And from the other said .. No one will say no to you, and no body will remove your links if they are good and relevant, try this .. and you may see some magic
I’ve seen some awesome posts from you!
Ricky.. You rock!
Hi Hesham,
Thank you for the complement and the very sound advice.
The few guest posts I have done were really for the backlinks, because that is the way it was supposed to be done–or so I learned when I first started out.
I noticed quickly though, that commenting on various blogs brought me more traffic than the sweat I poured into writing the articles–the one I wrote for you took me a week!
And commenting is a lot easier, too
. That was before I even learned that commenting was a traffic generating technique.
I have wanted to include links back to my site from within a guest post, but was afraid of freaking out the blog owner.
Before I first began this blogging thing, I ran into someone who was angry about people trying to promote themselves on her Forum or Blog. I think I may have been spooked away from the idea, so I never did what I really should have.
I may have to submit something new for your site to try out the idea
Thanks again, my friend.
Rick
Hi Tia
Makes perfect sense to me.
One of the first things that I learnt about blogging is that you should reply to each and every comment… in a polite way.
Blogging is all about breing part of the blogosphere and you won’t make friends by being rude.
You’ve got it about right.
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