Maximize Learning Opportunities and Save Yourself a Ton of Grief

I started my business as an internet marketing consultant almost 10 years ago and in that time I’ve had my fair share of “learning opportunities.” I call them “learning opportunities” instead of “mistakes” because I know that as long as you learn from experiences, they are not mistakes. They are opportunities to learn something and become a wiser, more savvy business owner.

The majority of my learning opportunities have nothing to do with the technical aspects of my job. They have everything to do with what’s going on between my ears. On one hand, while growing up I got messages from my family like “Work is a four letter word.” and “If it’s fun, it’s not work.”

On the other hand, I know plenty of people who love what they do and have become prosperous along the way. Their example shows me that the quality of my life is determined by my attitudes and choices. That’s why I choose to have an attitude of abundance and choose to spend my time doing work that makes me happy.

But instead of embracing my positive attitude and giving me a free pass on strife, The Forces That Be seem to say, “Oh really? Let’s test how serious you are about that positive attitude.”

Having your own business will present you with plenty of negative or frustrating experiences but going into victim mode or taking the Pollyanna approach only invites more negative experiences. I’ve learned that what I’m really being challenged to do is get clearer on my boundaries, figure out what I really want and what I won’t tolerate in my life.

The following are four questions I invite you to ask yourself on a regular basis. I wish I had known to ask them and had also given myself permission to have the answers I do. I would not have wasted nearly as much time trying to get myself out of bed to work on things I hate for people who don’t appreciate my efforts.

1. What do you want your typical day to look like?

Because I came from a corporate background, I thought I had to work 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Without a supervisor watching the clock, I sucked at 8 to 5 and I felt like a failure.

It took me years to allow myself not to be a morning person. I now give myself permission to wake up at 9:00, work until noon, go to the gym, run my errands and be back at my desk between 3:00 and 4:00. Then I work until 8:00 or 9:00 PM. I still do a 6-8 hour day (most days) but I spread it over 12 hours. I take off Saturday but Sunday evening I work for 3 – 5 hours to get ready for the upcoming week. In Winter I go skiing on Wednesday’s but I’m usually at my desk by 5:00 PM to work for 3 or 4 hours. That’s a schedule I can live with and still get my work done.

What can you live with? What time do you want to wake up? How many hours a day do you want to work? What other activities do you want to work into the day and when?

2. What businesses do you want to work with?

If you cast your net too wide, you don’t catch anything. I once met a mortgage broker at a networking event who said, “Oh, I work with everybody.” You know what? I couldn’t refer business to her because I don’t know “everybody.” I know individual people.

You might think “being picky” is a luxury you can’t afford. In fact, the opposite is true. Saying you work with everybody means you are unfocused. And if you’re not crystal clear on who your ideal customer is, your website, blog, social media and other marketing material will be unfocused and won’t connect with anybody, including your ideal customer.

Think about what industries you like to work with and types of business. In my own case, I specialize in working with service based businesses (coaches, consultants, accountants). They might sell info products but they don’t sell physical products. They are B2B businesses and not B2C.

3. Why should they pay you?

I have a family member (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) who when I asked why they would be successful in their business, replied with, “Because I deserve it! The Universe owes me!” Well, ya know what? If every business owner who deserved to be successful were in fact successful, we’d have far fewer failed businesses.

If you can’t succinctly answer the question “Why should I pay you?” you’ve got big problems. It’s natural to start by talking about your knowledge, experience and work ethic but that doesn’t make you stand out from the competition. Dig deeper. Of course, when you’re crystal clear on who you want to work with, it’s a lot easier to answer this question.

In my own case, my clients face unique challenges that product driven companies don’t have. My clients have a long sales cycle, decision makers often perceived their services as a “want” instead of a “need,” they have to spend a lot of time educating a prospect before they buy and because they charge thousands of dollars for their services, they are not an impulse buy. I understand this about them and can create marketing strategies and infrastructures that build relationships with potential clients and referral sources.

4. What WON’T you tolerate?

When you’re struggling to make ends meet, it’s hard to allow yourself to fire clients or turn down work. But you have to have boundaries. You have to respect yourself, your time and your skills. If you don’t, you will go out of business. More importantly, you have a right to be happy and enjoy your work.

I used to think I had to put up with all kinds of foolishness and I’ve walked away from some high paying clients. But I have learned the hard way that I can’t afford to work with certain types of people. For example:

• I don’t work with people whose ethics or honesty I have doubts about.
• I don’t work with people who treat me like they are doing me a favor by hiring me.
• I don’t work with people who expect me to be available 24/7.
• I don’t work with people who blame me for things that aren’t my fault.
• I don’t work with people who don’t communicate with me when they can’t pay their invoice on time.

Living by your answers may sound self indulgent. It’s not. It’s honest. And the sooner you allow yourself to build the business you want and live the life you want, the sooner you will be successful.