Grant me just a little stereotypical latitude for this post. I can already see the hairs on the back of your necks standing up. lol This will not be that kind of post, ladies, I assure you.
Yesterday, for just a small period of time, I was feeling particularly anti-social. You could say that I was being moody. I can say this without being defensive because I know that I am moody and emotional. C’est la vie. I don’t worry about it so much as I am quite content with the way I relate to other people. If I were both moody and depressed, there might be an issue there.
But there was nothing particularly alarming about my moodiness, EXCEPT when I gave it a little more thought. What if I were moody all week? What if I were suffering from severe moodiness brought on by PMS? Just keeping it real, guys.
(If you’re a dude and you’re feeling a little uncomfortable now, don’t say I didn’t warn you. The blog is called bizchickblogs after all, ha!)
Being a moody self-employed woman is different than being a moody employee
When I worked for other people, being moody wasn’t an issue. Well, I take that back. It was only an issue when I was working in an all female team. When I worked with all men, I could be as moody as I wanted to and got away with it. (I think men shy away from you when you’re moody. Maybe they are afraid!)
But working for myself, things are different. I can’t just be moody. Self-employment means wearing the sales hat, the customer service hat, the marketing hat, and all the other hats, too. If my mood were to affect my earnings (March is Money Matters month), well, I’d run into some problems!
So yesterday I told myself, “Get over it. You can’t be moody.” At some point, natural personality traits fall prey to the realities of being in business. For the sake of my business, I just had to take control of my mood and change it.
What do you think? Have you ever been moody and told yourself to get over it? Have you ever worked for someone who was moody a lot? How did you deal?
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I call my moody days “black cloud” days. I’ve learned over the years that I don’t have to expend energy on trying to figure out why I’m either in a foul mood or feeling “off” because sometimes there is no “reason;” sometimes it is hormones and we’re born with those; sometimes its weather – being an artist [and I'm sure this is not something only creatives suffer] I suffer in the winter from that lack of sunshine thing – I need sunshine and lots of it. Sometimes I’ve had bad dreams during the night that leave a patina of gray on my psyche all the next day. So I decided for myself that when I find I’m in a “black cloud” day I just shrug and acknowledge it and move on. I know from experience that the next day will be better and yes, sooner or later the sun does shine again.
Hi Tia,
It’s called “game face” as the guys would say. Moody and depressed is me a lot of the time these days however none of our customers see that side of me, ever. I have perfected the “game face” and accomplish much with this tool.
Like Kim said, “We are always looking for ways to help others”. Nurturing beings we are, game face is an awesome tool when one doesn’t feel up to it. Looking back on the day, one can “feel good” about the help they provided in the midst of a not so great mood.
Aaahhh game face can actual change the mood without us even knowing it!
Great post
Being a mom and running my own business is very challenging and of course being moody comes with the territory. However, I did notice that I really don’t have that much time to be moody and being moody is not good for business.
Yes, I do tell myself to snap out of it, put my big girl pants on and walk it off. I reserve my moodiness for evenings at home, but I do give my family heads up….they know the drill,lol
Who wants to deal with a cranky woman? I am one, but I can’t stand dealing with cranky ladies in customer service industry, cranky nurses or receptionists.Many times I leave because I refuse to be part of their drama they bring with them.
I think all of us – women and men are moody and are entitled to be moody at times. I’ll go so far as to say that women are more entitled to be moody than men. As Kim pointed out, women are always giving. Many a times they have two jobs – their career / business and home. With a man and kids around, even home can be a more than a full time job!
Having said that, I think that moodiness must always be shown / expressed in front of people who are your own – husband, wife, grown up children, maybe very close friend(s). In front of the rest – your employees, co-workers, acquittance etc it must be a strict no-no. And the reason is very simple – it just does not help your cause by showing your weakness / vulnerability. It may be unfortunate, but that is how it is.
If you are moody, call your husband / wife and give him / her hell. But never show it in public. I think the test of the strength of your relationship is how much of your moodiness can your partner take!!
Being moody while trying to start my own business had cost me a LOT of productive hours! I like that you are focused enough to just tell yourself to “get over it” and move on. I know it’s a matter of necessity when you’re the sole breadwinner for the family, but it’s impressive nonetheless! Lately I’ve gotten better about not indulging my moods when they hit and staying on task, but it’s still a daily challenge; you’ve inspired me though – there’s definitely comfort in knowing that if Tia can do it so can I!
Oh Tia!
Have you been reading my mail?!?!?!
I’m a moody person myself and I actually think it’s one of the benefits of being self-employed. You don’t have to inflict your moodiness on anyone else. That said, I’ve always managed to put that stuff aside when dealing with clients, and more often than not I’ve found that doing some exercise, or getting some laughs in can help me shift my focus from my moodiness to having a better attitude.
Love that you’re keepin’ it real!
I can relate with this so easy. I can be moody as much as I want at work because its only men around me. They will leave me alone and the worst thing that can happens is them talking between themselves, saying “She is probably PMSing”.
But when I am moody about my blogging it isn’t good. I wasn’t feeling like being online yesterday and spent all day watching home design shows with my puppy (she is a girl too, after all), lol. I was relaxed until I realized today that I didn’t write some things I was supposed to.
So no moods anymore…
Hi Brankica!
That must be why you and I get along so well!
I feel the same way – that the moods are normal but totally sucky when it comes to blogging and business. It’s almost like it’s best to work more than normal and get posts going ahead of time just to prepare for the days when you don’t feel like it!
Tia, aloha. No doubt you made a number of people “nervous” with your title & subject–women & men alike.
Hi Janet!
That’s okay!
I’m alright with making people nervous. lol
Oh the moods! We come with them. We do so much as women. It’s no wonder we have moods at times. We sacrifice so much. We spend very little time on ourselves. Because we’re always looking for ways to help others. We deal with changing harmones (each month), let alone the pain that comes with it. We deal with kids all day, we work, we clean, we cook, we shop, and so much more!
Women will give until they have nothing left to give (most women). So a little mood from time to time, is okay in my book. Just don’t stay in that mood. Acknowledge it and do something positive about it. It’s a sign to do something different.
Staying in a bad mood will hinder us women from doing the things we must do. I get in bad moods often. Mostly due to my personal circumstances. I refuse to let it beat me. I cry and get over it. I know that my circumstances will get better one day. They just have to. I’m so thankful for my kids. They’re the ones that keep me going for the most part. Sorry, my thoughts and typing just took over. I’ll end now, before I write a book.
Thanks for reading!
Please visit my website for more stories about me, when I was a teen.
Hi Kim!
You’re awesome. I know that I certainly feel tapped out most days. So I suppose a moody day is acceptable every now and then!
Thanks for reminding me about your new blog!
Your Welcome!
Welllllllll – I am not a working mom or having my own business. I do, however, have plenty of experience with ‘moodiness’ as I have Bipolar Disorder and swing along the mood swing.
Soooo – here is my two cents worth of comment: it helps me the most to accept that the mood I am is the mood I am in. It is okay to be me an to feel the way I feel. It doesn’t take away the mood, but it helps me cope a lot better (if the mood is not completely darn it bad or too good). Self-acceptance is key. And I agree with Fran – we need to take care of ourselves – which being an entrepreneur I imagine will be very hard at times. So there you have it. My two cents
Hi Fenny! Yes, Fran has made a very good point. And you’re right, too – I’m a big believer in self-acceptance.
I suppose a part of accepting my moodiness is acknowledging it, but then moving onward! Ice cream.
Your two cents is always, always welcome here!
Hi Tia:
I have done it almost every day of my life. I still do it. I get upset at myself, but remember these are health hazard. Specially the stress related life long sicknesses, because I have them, and I keep preaching all try your best take care of your health, and your body your mood, you are important.
Why do I do that, raising my children I have become a mom of the world I want the whole world to live in peace and love. I want the whole world to be healthy. I want things to be perfect, for everyone.
So Tia, please do not ignore yourself, if you need time off, it is your right and take time off, because all this you are doing is for you and if you are not good, what is the sense of doing it.
Take good care of yourself.
Fran A
Hi Fran – That’s a very good word. I don’t want to ignore how I feel; at the same time, I want to own my feelings and be responsible for them, and ultimately not let them put my business at a disadvantage.
Thank you for your awesome comments as always!
Tia
Hi Tia,
Moody doesn’t only happen on womans, but it also happens on man. I have ever worked with moody person, and it made uncomfortable, because I don’t know what his mood on that day, is it good mood or bad mood? He can be sensitive person when he is getting bad mood, but He can be helpful, friendly, and kind person when he is getting good mood.
I may be able give little tips for womans who get bad mood. Usually, my wife gets bad mood because of PMS, but she always tells me if she gets bad mood. Even, often time, she is crying when she is getting bad mood. In that condition, I do everything what she like and try to make her comfortable. Asking her what she wants to make her better. Inviting her to go for walk to get fresh air.
Making your mind and heart relax will much help to overcome your bad mood.
This is very nice of you as a husband. I’m sure she appreciates these things. We as women should be taken care of by our husbands during vulnerable times. Kudos to you!
I agree with Kim! Very nice!