Who says you’re not beautiful?
That’s one of the lines from the song in the video above. It may seem trite or silly, but there is a lot of depth in that line. There are several reasons I like this song, but the primary one is that it’s by a young girl, for her equally young audience, and the messages in the song are so key to helping young women (and young men) develop an unshakable sense of confidence.
Defining the “who”
[pullquote]”Who says you’re not perfect? Who says you’re not worth it? Who says you’re the only one that’s heard it?”[/pullquote]
Who says? That’s usually something that precocious people say in response to someone telling them they can’t do something. We need to start developing more of that attitude and saying that more often, particularly when it is regarding our talents, skills, beauty, or our future.
It’s an important question, as knee-jerk as it seems. It’s crucial to really think about who is saying what we’re prone to believing. Once we’ve figured out who is saying it, the very next questions should be
“What gives them the right to say that?” and “What do they know, anyway?”
There aren’t many good answers to those questions. Usually, whoever is saying that we’re not beautiful, or worth it, or will never amount to anything, or will never be able to overcome past issues, doesn’t actually have the right to say anything to us at all. Secondly, what do they know, anyway? When you find yourself asking that question of idiotic people, you start to realize that there just isn’t a good way to answer that question seriously.
Take them off the pedestal
I believe that we allow certain people in our lives to really shake us and turn our worlds upside down. We might not even like these people, but for whatever reason, the things that they say get under our skin. Sometimes, they rock us to the point that we change our behavior, or pattern of thinking. We let them affect us.
But it’s time to take them off the pedestal that we put them on. When we allow people to shake us, we are actually giving them a power over us that is undeserved. It doesn’t belong to them. They are not taking power; we are giving it to them.
Personally, this happened to me with a guy I was dating. I gave him a lot of power over me. I adored him – 100%, even though he didn’t have my best interests in mind. When things didn’t go my way, it ended up really throwing me, and it took me a really long time to get over him. I let this happen TWICE. It was after the second broken heart that I realized the extent to which I let him mean too much. In a way, it was actually unfair to both of us, because no one on earth deserves that kind of power. That power is too much for we human beings to handle.
So, whose lies are you believing? What kind of power do they have? How can you work toward taking back some of the power you’ve given them to affect you? And most of all, do you think doing any of this will help influence the young women in your life – family members, friends, and the family members of your friends – to see themselves differently?
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