If you would’ve asked me when I was in college what success meant to me, in my naivete I would’ve said:
- Driving a BMW (my dream car)
- Getting married and having a fabulously big wedding
- Owning a home
- Having a good job
- Being able to shop all the time
Why? I’ll tell you. At that point in my life I was self absorbed, living on my own, or as much as you can be on your own in the dorms in college, and I wasn’t responsible for anyone or anything. Truth be told, my parents were still footing most of my bills. There was a disconnect for me between reality and what was an important measure of success. Isn’t that often the case we we are young, and our freedom takes reign?
If you would’ve asked me after I got married how I would’ve measured success I would’ve gone on and on about savings accounts, paying for everything in cash, being able to travel and vacation and of course, one day having babies and being a stay at home mom. After all, I couldn’t just be happy with where I was at. Married to an amazing
man, enjoying a new marriage and a new adventure, being good at my job, taking time to enjoy the things life has to offer. Now looking back, I wish I had spent more time building my marriage up before we had kids, strengthening our foundation in Christ, learning how to be a prayerful wife. Those would’ve been the tools needed to get me ready for the next chapter of my life: children.
If you would’ve asked me after I gave birth to our daughter how I would measure success, I would’ve told you:
- finding the right diaper to fit her little bottom so that massive blow outs could’ve been avoided.
- a 5 hour stretch of sleep
- getting myself showered, dressed and teeth brushed
- finding other moms to connect with who understood what I was going through
- being able to stay at home with my daughter
Who knew having a baby would be so hard. Why isn’t life like it is in the movies where everything just falls into place and babies don’t cry, fuss, or have blow outs, but sit patiently in their stroller completely content with their pacifier, lovey and a few toys that dangle from the handle bar? After all isn’t success measured by how well you are able to control your child’s behavior? Success to me as a new mom meant having it all together and appearing completely in control of my over committed schedule at all times. It didn’t matter that I cried myself to sleep at night, as long as the world saw me in complete control. Success, right?
Now as I look at life, here’s how I’m measuring success:
- Remembering daily, hourly even, to pray for my husband, my marriage, and my children
- Making it through the day making sure my children have filled our home with laughter
- Not getting caught up in what I could have, but enjoying the things I do have
- Teaching my children that family and God are so important and to remember that they are loved by both always
- Reminding my husband that I’m proud of him and remembering to kiss him daily
The list could go on and on, but I’ll tell you this, I know that I’m a successful Mom and wife because my Heavenly Father reminds me daily, my husband makes sure to kiss me back daily, my kids love to play and laugh with us and each other, I’m not worried that I wear the same 6 shirts all the time, and when my daughter had her first surgery last week she asked us to pray for her.
Success!! Not measured by the worlds standards, but by God’s standards for our life. And thank goodness for that because otherwise I’d be an unsuccessful mess.
So, what does success look like to you?
Image: scottchan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
A very wise woman you are! Be proud that you have found true success at such a young age. My boys are now adults and having learned this type of success through heavy burdens and trials I can honestly say to measure success by His standards is the true and correct measure.
This is a testimony and breath of fresh air. Your family is surely blessed by your measures!
Have a wonderful weekend.
@closetwriter Thank you so much for having me!! I’m so excited to be a part of such a great family of writers.
@SarahArrow Thank you so much! It was a little emotional writing it, not going to lie, but I’m glad that I’ve evolved and changed so much over the years. Takes some pressure of myself to be perfect.
Alissa, I loved this post. So far your success and my success and how it’s changed look so similar (especially when it came to that nappy / diaper goal).
Great post Alissa & welcome to the BizChickBlogs family. I so agree that my view of success has changed over the years, thank goodness. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
Success is plan old freedom..nothing more..that’s what I live by everyday.
“Black Seo Guy “Signing Off”
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