Is He Ready for a Relationship or Easily Overwhelmed?

August 10, 2011

in Relationships & Family

You’ve been casually dating this guy for quite some time and you’re ready to move forward into a relationship.  The real question is, is he ready to be in one?  Read these factors to assess when deciding if he’s truly ready for a long-term relationship with you or if the idea is too overwhelming at this point.

1.  Friends

It’s been said that who you surround yourself with is the best reflection of who you are.  Take a look at your man’s friends.  Are they positive and focused?  Are they committed to honesty and living a good life?  Does he have friends who are in stable, long term relationships?  A man who has emotionally mature friends is more likely to be ready for a relationship himself, since men tend to gravitate toward people who hold similar values.  A man who’s friends are mostly single  and immature may be overwhelmed by the significance of a serious relationship.

2.  Integrity

A man’s level of integrity can help you determine if he’s ready for a long-term relationship.  A man with integrity has words and actions that match.  He does what he says he’s going to do.  He picks you up on time, calls when he says he will, follows through on his promises, doesn’t make ones that he is not sure he can keep.  A man with integrity signals that he is not afraid of or overwhelmed by commitment.  If his words and actions consistently match up chances are he’s ready for a relationship with you.

3.  Family

Pay close attention to a man’s relationship with his family.  A lot of families have difficult situations, but it’s how your man handles it that matters.  Is he completely estranged from them?  Do they fight all the time?  Does he go through mood swings in their relationship?  This may signal an inner emotional turmoil that is unresolved.  It might inhibit his ability to be in a stable, committed relationship with you.

4.  No Games

A man that’s ready for a relationship with you does not play games.  He makes up his own rules as he goes along and does what he wants, when he wants.  He doesn’t try to keep you guessing or follow the wait-three-days-before-calling rule.  In turn, he doesn’t want you to play games either. If your man seems to be through with the games, there’s a good chance he’s ready to take things to the next level.

5.  He can provide

A man is more likely to feel comfortable moving into a long-term relationship if he feels confident in his ability to provide.  Men want to take care of and provide for their significant others, it’s just the way they are wired.  They are most likely to be ready for a relationship when they feel that they are “settled,” and not overwhelmed by the idea of financially supporting another and spending more time with them.

It takes time for a man to be ready to let go of his single lifestyle so don’t rush him.  If you push him to move forward when he’s not ready, you may do more harm than good.  Not all men are ready at the same time either.  The best thing you can do is just be honest with him and keep the communication lines open.  Not only will you learn where his head is but you will also be able to assess his level of maturity and if you could have a solid foundation for a relationship in the future.

Image courtesy of celibaciez.com

bodynsoil August 15, 2011 at 6:10 am

I have been married for over 16 years to a wonderful man but I can remember all to well those days where we were not sure if we wanted to commit to each other. Your points about how to tell if he is ready is very well written and certainly can be helpful in deciding which direction to go.

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