I finally got it! What all the fuss was about.
The social media world always talks about creating relationships and finding people like yourself to form them with. But I was always confused to how to do it. How do you create relationships online?
TRUST.
I blog. I write about my journey to become a work at home mom and how I am doing it online. I am almost to my 1st year anniversary and I am finally getting some good traffic and conversation.
Why did it take me so long?
I ask myself that just yesterday. But yesterday was different than any other day I had since I started blogging. Yesterday I GOT IT!
Ah-ha moment: Getting your blog to be noteworthy takes a lot more than just great writing. And it does take more than traffic. You need trust. And trust takes time.
You need relationships with people. You need to make them feel special as they make you feel special. Call it friendship, business partners or teams. These are the people that you interact with often online. They are the ones that you call by their first name. No, more than that. You know if they are married, have kids, or a dog. You know how often they post on their blogs. You know you can tweet them and they will answer quickly because you mean something to them.
Online relationships don’t just appear. They are made. Just like offline relationships. And what is the core to a great relationship? TRUST.
Your online friends trust you would help them if they need it. They ask you a favor you do it. They say, “Hey Allie, can you come by and share a comment for my guest post?” and you do it. And they would do the same.
How do you get this interaction online? There are millions of people there.
The answer is not straight forward. Just like offline, great relationships take time. Because you cannot hurry trust.
Find a place you like online and stay there. Be there often and be sure to share a little about yourself. People will start to see who you are and open up too.
You need specifics?
Twitter chats. Facebook pages. Your favorite blogger’s comment section. Forums featuring your interests.
Give it time.
Trust is the backbone of a great blogging career. People will find you and you them naturally in time.
@Mywritingworld
Thank you!
It takes a lot of patience! Sometimes I feel too much. Many bloggers just give up and move on to another field. The relationships I have formed online took longer than some of the ones I have offline. Maybe it is what @richescorner meant by filters. You don’t get to share everything and people will read only what they want. And that is how they see you. It takes a while to get to know people online and sometimes it is not who they are offline. Funny situations.
~Allie
@richescorner I struggle with this because I do have relationships with more influential bloggers and some that really don’t care about SEO, marketing, twitter and the such. Obviously, for my blog the “bigger” bloggers are who I need to know but I like my relationships with the “smaller” (they choose to be smaller) bloggers. Sometimes I feel bad because I will spend more time cementing my relationships with the ones I think I could make a bigger splash with. If I was in this simply for fun (at times I am), I wouldn’t have this issue. But I am in it for business too, where does that lead for the smaller guys who just want some online friends? I never forget them, I just always hope they know I need to pay the bills.
~Allie
@Tia Peterson
Thank you Tia and congrats on the job!!
It is true, relationships online can mirror the ones you have off line. Some people are willing to jump right in and love ya. Some stand back and make sure you are up to their standards. Both are just fine. I’m right in the middle.
I like what you said, “we can only control our side” and then it is up to the other person to decide for themselves and move forward or not. Relationships cannot be forced.
~Allie
@Bryce Christiansen
You know, when I began blogging and was reading the bigger blogs, they always stated that the real relationships and communication goes on right at your own blog. I was lost. What? But once I started to get comments I understood what they really meant.
Comments are part of the lifeblood of a blog. They are where your get to “talk” to the blogger and other commentators directly. That is why it is so important to leave a well written comment behind. If I can’t leave some valid input on someone’s blog, I won’t comment. I’m not wasting the bloggers time and energy. And a great blogger will recognize that and appreciate it. When I do decide to leave my mark I hope I can prove I am knowledgeable and trustworthy.
To me, it’s about the relationships.
~Allie
@Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2 Lewis, So true. Helpful is huge but I think entertaining is just as important. Whether you are funny, let them know something about you (so they can relate) telling stories or sometimes controversial (in a respectful manner) gets people to not only like you but trust you. Letting people into the world you created online is important for longevity. Redhead Writer and Gary V. have done just that, like you said, but in different ways. You trust them both but in different ways. But it works.
Thanks!
~Allie
I also just finished my 1st year. I am doing better & almost quit it once or twice. I finally had to decid that it is what I like to do. I guess I believe that ‘if you write, they will come’. LOL Not really, I’ve just worked hard with social marketing, joining a blogging community and engaging with other bloggers. Thanks so much for the post Sally Twitter-@slbphoenix; my passion @Blogengage.com; http://www.speakingoflove.net
Allie first I want to congratulate you for finishing your fist year and coming up with flying colors. As you expressed it is the trust and as far as trust goes, it takes lots of factors, time is one of them. It has different out come for different people, experience, selfesteem, impressions a lot it works to create it. Thanks for a wonderful post.
It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. I suppose in many ways that concept is all the more important when you are building up a blogging community. In some ways it’s almost counterintuitive because the internet filters your personal connections to some extent and you have to work even harder to build up your relationships.
I think what you wrote in your last paragraph really nails it. The reality for me has been that the time it takes to develop trust with certain people is different. Some people trust you before they’ve even written you an email! Some don’t trust you even after several interactions.
I believe this mirrors life offline. I just got an outside job today in sales, and I’ve been thinking about trust a lot because of that. I’m constantly reminded that we can only control one side of trust – ours. It can’t be manipulated. Instead, we should simply focus on friendship, kindness, goodness, etc., the things we can control and be willing to receive and reciprocate once the trust signal has been extended!
Great post on trust, Allie. I love it.
Hi Allie,
You are dead right. The relationships are so key to internet success with bloggers.
I really like comments. It’s something bloggers really appreciate and it lets you get to know them very easily.
Great post.
Bryce
Being helpful and funny have contributed incredibly to creating some incredible relationships online.
Both of these actions help people get the feelings they want, peace and laughter, when spending time with you and that’s a winning recipe.
And the funny/entertaining part is where I think most professionals shoot themselves in the foot. People won’t be bored into buying – you or your product. Not everyone will let themselves be funny but there’s always something you can share that’s entertaining. And of course you need to have the finger of your audience to gauge what they will an d won’t appreciate.
I’m just as much an admirer of of Redhead Writing’s helpful/entertainment/humor as I am of the helpful/entertainment/humor of Gary Vaynerchuk.
But these have been huge for me using them as well as experiencing other people use them and cannot recommend weaving them both into your marketing and content.
@AllieRambles That looked like a dude-fest going on over there; I would rather hang with the ladies. I did see jkthehustler though, so it can’t be too bad; he’s one you should check out too.
@AllieRambles Have you seen my Avatar? That is one big noggin’……you might be too late………..:)
@bdorman264
Hey Bill!
This is going to sound funny but you are part of the inspiration behind this post. After you came to my blog, I stopped being so stiff and business oriented. You’re funny so that helps people open up. So thank YOU! (Don’t let your head get too big! There are others that have helped me too!)
I wish I could step into a room and want to be center of attention. NEVER! My really good friend does that for me. She loves it. My daughter said to me the other week, “Wow mom you have a lot of friends!” I said “No honey, Lisa has a lot of friends and I am friends with her.” I was laughing.
BTW, there is a “He Says” section here: http://www.bizchickblogs.com/category/he-says
~Allie
@Evelyn Parham
Evelyn,
I know! It is like in person. I am just finding this out. I think sometimes we don’t think that behind all that text and letters there are actual real people.
And just like offline relationships, when you find the good ones you hold on, whether it be friends, business, etc. You want it to work.
It is a great idea to share a little more. I think that helps people make connections with the commonalities.
Thanks and have a great day!
~Allie
Hi Allie,
One of the toughest things is developing relationships with people online. But I am finding that it is much like in-person relationships. We never know until we try.
I sometimes feel awkward, but I go ahead and give it a go anyway. I say, “you never know until you try.” I have met some very cool people and they will help me if and whenever I ask. I’ll also do the same for them too.
You’re right, trust is very important, without it, there can be no true relationships.
Now, that you mention it, I think, I need to share a little more about myself on some of the sites.
Hey Ms Allie, good to see you at bizchicksblog. I tried to get in here too but they were pretty exclusive as well and not even shaving my legs would do the trick.
I would say that over time if you let a relationship develop you will get to know somebody pretty well. I have had a few surprises; not necessarily in a bad way but somebody portrayed themselves as something different than who they really were. However, because of my relationship with them they did tell me what was going on; via Skype no less.
I make friends pretty easy IRL and have found online is just an extension of me in person. For the most part I think online allows people who are introverts or shy by nature reach out and develop relationships much easier than they could do walking into a crowded room of strangers. I actually like walking into a room of strangers but there was a day I was pretty shy and back then if you would have told me I was going to make a living as a sales person I would have laughed.
Anyway, the online experience allows you to make friends across many interests; I’m not even sure how I ended up at your place but all it took was you feeding me once and now I’m only one false move away from a restraining order…………
Great post and hope you have a fantastic day.
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