This months bizchickblogs.com theme is “Trust”. I was SO NOT excited about this theme for many reasons. I had been pretty uninspired with the topic and like most writers, sat at my desk, staring at my computer.
Think, Think, Think, Think…
That is all I could do for days. I would write, delete, write some more, delete some more, you get the drift. I had a post actually all written and ready to go and then I was inspired!
Nothing quite like it really, to be stuck, in a rut, something to say, but not sure how to say it.
That is smack dab where I was when I decided to sit down & unplug. Over lunch I watched a movie that had been on our DVR list for forever. I was inspired by the complexities of this movie.
It got me thinking,
“Why do we trust?” or more importantly, “why don’t we trust?”
When I think of trust, I think of my children. They trust that I am going to look out for them, have their back if you will. They trust that when I tell them something that it will be right and be helpful to them. Does that happen all the time? Hardly! But, each day that is my goal.
When I think of trust, I think of my husband. Marital trust runs so much deeper than all other trusts (in my humble but accurate opinion). When we met the very first time, my husband pulled out his wallet and showed me pictures of his children. He wanted me to know within the first few minutes that they were a part of him. I knew at that moment I could trust him. I could trust him with my feelings, my thoughts and my heart. Almost sixteen years later…
When I think of trust, I think of my dead dad. Wow! Where did that come from? I told you I was inspired! My dad died ten days before my seventeenth birthday in a car accident. I have had many years to process my thoughts and feelings about it all. My dad was a total dreamer, entrepreneurially minded (hmmm) and was always looking for the next big thing. Subsequently, we moved close to every two years and our financial means went up and down like a see-saw. One minute we were rolling in it, the next, um, let’s just say, we were not. I watched my mom follow him from place to place, uprooting me and my sisters up and down the California coast. I saw a woman who really tried to follow her dreams and be happy but was stricken to a life of uncertainty. A life lacking trust. The final blow was discovering when my dad died he had no insurance. We were broke, we had to walk out of our home because there was no money to pay the mortgage. I clearly remember, even as a teenager saying to myself,
“I will NEVER let a man put me in that position.”
I think that drove me to being overzealous & “one of those” female managers. I was harsh, cold & detached. I didn’t trust, anyone or even myself. After years and years of self therapy (called the Bible & a good man) I learned to let go and move on, to trust.
I still have twinges of my old, non-trusting self. But, for the most part, trust is built in. I actually give people the benefit of the doubt, I trust they will do the right thing. Am I disappointed? Quite a bit. But, I would much rather be in this position than the other.
What do you think of when you think of the word TRUST? Does it bring positive or negative emotions?
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I think of trust as letting someone in. Both people in the relationship need to be honest and open. That is trust to me. Especially the “letting someone in” part.
When one person closes off, the other has no choice but to start not trusting. Trust needs to be an open relationship that both parties agree to.
Once someone that is dear to you breaks that trust, unfortunately, it is hard to let anyone else in after that; to trust them. Like you stated above.
Sometimes I wonder if trust is more important than love in a relationship.
~Allie
Hey Christina – Thanks for this inspiring and thoughtful piece. I think it is GOOD to trust people and to give them the benefit of the doubt. We are all only small decisions away from doing the worst things or the best things for our lives. I think giving people trust holds them responsible, and that’s an internal calibration that’s made – when we make a decision, we know we are responsible for the outcome. It either builds character (when we make the right decision) or destroys it (when we make the wrong one).
So those of us who do our part by giving a certain amount of trust over to others help build character in some people. We can’t worry about those who make the wrong decisions; that’s their path to follow.
Plus, I think trust plays into faith a great deal. Yes, sometimes we trust people and they hurt us, and sometimes we have faith and get let down. But without trust or faith, we cannot survive.
I’m glad you’re a trusting person despite your past hurts. I hope you pass that on to your children!