You can’t handle the truth

in Relationships & Family


Femininity. Female. Woman. When I say these things what thoughts are evoked? If you had asked me fifteen years ago my answer would have "women"been completely different than it is today. Isn’t that the amazing thing about us evolving as a human being. I am not the same person I was even last week.

Fifteen years ago I thought a woman, at least a feminine woman was soft spoken, demure, passive, and weak. The complete opposite of me. I mean the absolute, polar opposite of me. I was loud, outgoing, aggressive & strong willed. How could I possible be a woman, much less a feminine woman, with those types of traits?

Thank goodness we grow and change. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still loud, outgoing, aggressive & strong willed. I just now have long, wavy hair. And, we all know if you have long, wavy hair you are feminine. Right? Right?

Yeah, not so much. I love all my traits. Really I do. Over the years I have learned to soften certain areas of my personality. Perhaps I am not quite as loud as I was. I have scaled back sharing my opinion every opportunity I get. I have also realized that there are times, few, but, there are times where I can be wrong. Because of these changes I feel more feminine, more woman like. Is that strange?

I don’t think we can handle the truth. The truth of how our world looks at woman. If you are a strong, self assured, take no bull, kind of woman then that equals you being a  _ itch. Sorry, I don’t like to write swear words. But, you get the drift.

In my early twenties I was a manager for a large telemarketing company.  I was good at my job. My team had great numbers, and I was pretty darn good at motivating. However, there were always those few males that had to be disciplined and when I stood my ground, did my job & penalized them I was considered a _itch.

It drove me nuts, and still does. Why is it that a man can do the exact same thing and be awesome?  No wonder I had this distorted sense of what a woman should be like. After many, many years I am finally comfortable in my own skin, in my own femininity. I’ve come to the realization that I can be soft spoken, loud, demure, outgoing, passive, aggressive, weak & strong willed all rolled into one fabulous woman.


Back to my original question.


What do you think of when you hear: femininity, female, woman     Do you think of positive things?


Let’s discuss.


Until next time,




Leave a Comment


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Tia Peterson October 10, 2011 at 3:23 am

I hear what you’re saying about what happens when you’re just doing your job. Women are still expected to be polite and “agreeable” (a word that makes me cringe) and just go with it. I don’t care what century we’re in; it’s still that way no matter what industry is being considered.

Jill Tooley October 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I hear you, Christina! Why is a powerful woman considered a you-know-what and a powerful man considered a respectable authority figure? It’s such a double standard. Just look at Hillary Clinton – she’s such an AMAZING woman who gets things done, and all I ever hear is people speaking of her in a negative way (and with not so nice names). SO not fair!

Anyway, to answer your question, I think of all positives when I see/hear the terms you mentioned. Femininity isn’t just about wearing pink, having long hair, and wearing lipstick. To me, being feminine is about staying strong for yourself and for the ones you love. It’s about confidence, passion, and compassion.

I recently bought a book called “Operation Beautiful” that’s changing my life for the better. It’s all about self-confidence and how we view ourselves as women; the creator started a trend of posting encouraging post-it notes in random places in order to inspire women around her, and this book is a sort of compilation of all sorts of stories from women all over the world who have participated. I’d highly recommend it…it’s SO empowering! 🙂

Christina Linnell October 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Jill, first of all, thank you for your insightful comment! I am going to have to check out Operation Beautiful. Confidence, passion and compassion, I like it.

LeighAnnTorres October 6, 2011 at 10:21 pm

It can be so frustrating. If we’re in a bad mood, we’re “PMSing,” or being irrational and emotional. But you know what? We are, a lot of the times. Women (at least the ones I’ve worked with in my past career) tend to wear their feelings on their sleeve, and men don’t.

I love it when we’re all seen as peers, not men and women, not boys and girls. I like being able to be seen as more than just a mom. Femininity to me isn’t tons of jewelry and make up and fashion, because that’s just not my thing. It’s feeling good about myself at the end of the day.

Christina Linnell October 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Leigh Ann, that is such a good point. We do tend to wear our emotions on our sleeve. If you are feeling good about yourself at the end of the day that is a true accomplishment!

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